He was the best man I have ever known. Our whole family still
suffers from the loss of him in our lives.
A GLIMPSE...
I wait for you
At ever corner,
every turn...
Expecting...
I think any minute,
there you'll be,
good as new...
But there is no one.
I look for you,
everywhere,
hoping to see you,
to catch a glimpse...
But I'm the one whose lost these days,
I want to ask you things
and I listen,
but there is no answer...
There is only wind.
I want to sit at your feet,
hear your old stories
and laugh at your jokes.
I want to go back in years,
I want to hide your cigarettes
and scream at you until you quit.
Maybe it would have made a difference.
Now,..I wait..
...we wait..for the day we can all be together..
....wondering through our lives,.
Trying to make things make sense,..
Trying to leave our mark, as good as you have.
But, no one is in your chair,
I sit there sometimes,
wondering what do I do?
Going on is hard without you.
I just hope I don't forget the sound of your voice.
So, I can always remember.
I wish I could catch a glimpse of you,..
Just for a second..
I don't want to forget....anything.
By: KellyRae
Written:Sept. 20, 2008
I often think of how distraught I was back then when other family members would say they thought they saw him or saw him in a dream & oh how they talked. I thought, "Why can't I see him...why haven't I !? Why am I not dreaming of him?"
But, now I realize after reading something about loss...that as bad off as I was back then; if I had dreamed of him...I may never have wanted to wake up. Because living without him was so very hard. The blow every morning when I did wake & realize he is really gone...was overwhelming.
But, I did get up & I did go on (as he would want me to)...& I did it for him..for my family. Now, day to day living is a bit easier. But, missing him & the pain of it is the same. Losing someone to cancer is indescribable & heart wrenching to say the least. Sometimes it rushes at me out of no where & overwhelms me all over again...I do dream of him now...every now & then. He usually doesn't say much in my dreams. He just smiles at me.
I am not sure why we don't have conversations in my dreams. We had so many during our time on earth together. He always made things okay for me. He was my Daddy & the one I leaned on. We shared a lot in common too and had done many things together while I was growing up. Maybe it was because we had said everything we needed to. There were no regrets...nothing left unsaid. I figure maybe it's because I know deep down he is okay where he is at now. I know he is with friends & loved ones that have went on before him. He is not suffering or in pain anymore. He is not sick with cancer.
And it is not a forever goodbye...but a temporary separation from one another. One of the many reasons I can Thank our Lord for His wonderful promises. I find peace in that. I remembered this from one of my fav movies; it always makes me think of my Daddy.
"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"
That is my Daddy. We are all left with great mememories of him...but a big hole without him. I am thankful to have known him...had him as my Daddy & we were all blessed to have such a good man in our lives.
(quote from: Clarence Oddbody-It's a Wonderful Life)
Photos are: My wonderful parents Lynda & Roy Pack Married 50 years before he passed away in Aug. 2008 (from cancer in his lungs & brain) & the other photo is of my Daddy & me on my wedding day in 1995.
